Feb 27, 2009
After a few days of waiting, I was told that the biopsy turned out to be a certain type of cancer. Did it surprise me? No. For a certain amount of time while waiting for the result I have considered thinking this probability. It was not a surprise but it sure felt like a slap in the face.
When i heard those revelations from the doctors, I felt numb, I felt cold, like the world has stopped spinning. There were no tears, just an eerie feeling of being cold, dazed and disoriented. Then I pushed myself to snap out of it. There is no need to block reality, I need to face the truth and to be able to deal with it on a first hand basis.
Mortality has knocked on my door at the age of 43. He insisted that I take all my dreams to the dumpster and make me a slave of his depressing grasps. I am 43 and this I told him. I will not throw my dreams away because of Him... I will put them aside for a while, while I deal with him head on. I challenged him that I will fight for these hopes and dreams with all the strength left in me.
Okay, I have a cancer. What should we do next? I was told my case is now passed to the oncology department. First they need to know how extensive the cancer, the surgeons needs to review my case for possible surgeries and the radiologists need to also review my files for possible radiation needs.
While hearing all of these, in my mind I was carefully suspending all my dreams in a mobile (see picture above)... I don’t want to lose sight of them while I take care of more pressing matters.
After a few days of waiting, I was told that the biopsy turned out to be a certain type of cancer. Did it surprise me? No. For a certain amount of time while waiting for the result I have considered thinking this probability. It was not a surprise but it sure felt like a slap in the face.
When i heard those revelations from the doctors, I felt numb, I felt cold, like the world has stopped spinning. There were no tears, just an eerie feeling of being cold, dazed and disoriented. Then I pushed myself to snap out of it. There is no need to block reality, I need to face the truth and to be able to deal with it on a first hand basis.
Mortality has knocked on my door at the age of 43. He insisted that I take all my dreams to the dumpster and make me a slave of his depressing grasps. I am 43 and this I told him. I will not throw my dreams away because of Him... I will put them aside for a while, while I deal with him head on. I challenged him that I will fight for these hopes and dreams with all the strength left in me.
Okay, I have a cancer. What should we do next? I was told my case is now passed to the oncology department. First they need to know how extensive the cancer, the surgeons needs to review my case for possible surgeries and the radiologists need to also review my files for possible radiation needs.
While hearing all of these, in my mind I was carefully suspending all my dreams in a mobile (see picture above)... I don’t want to lose sight of them while I take care of more pressing matters.
for keeping your dreams alive, you keep mortality at bay.
ReplyDeleteno matter how simple or how big one's dream are, they are worth fighting for. and I won't get bullied... i will show what a mothers heart is made of.
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